Something good.

You know how when something bad happens in your life some well meaning person always says, " I am certain something good will come from this." I always assumed that comment was crap. Like, "It's for the best", "Now she is at peace" or "Every cloud has a silver lining". Crap. The sorts of things people say when they are afraid to tell the truth. Sometimes the only thing to say is something along the lines of " Man, that sucks" or "Shit. You really drew the short straw this time." Granted, I can point to all sorts of wonderful things that happened to me as a result of some bad thing that happened first. But when I am in the midst of the bad juju, I do not want to hear your smarmy get happy comments. Sometimes bad things are just bad. Period.

This, however, is not the case here. This week I have been able to help one of my best friends through the death of her mother, Dori, and I haven't had to resort to any pithy sayings or empty platitudes. I'm talking about real concrete help. How to word a living will, how to manage signing a "Do Not Resuscitate" order, when that tiny bottle of gin will come in handy. I have made phone calls to distant friends to help ease the burden of spreading sad news. I sat with Dori while my friend had that awful discussion with the doctors about what to do. I was able to be clear headed and calm because I have already learned these things. In this case it is true, something good did come from helping my mother die, from handling her estate, from being the one to say, "yes, it's time". The long dark days of managing her illnesses, her hospitalization, her bills, her friends. I learned some things that are useful.

It may seem a strange thing to celebrate, but it has value. Real honest value to other people and I guess for that I can be thankful.

I always used this as a tag line for my stage bio. It's fitting here too.

"Thanks Mom"