The things you forget.

I came across a box of things in the studio while we were cleaning out ( still!). In the box was a very neatly tied bundle of cards, condolence cards from when my Mom died. I read them all. Many were from people I didn't remember friends or colleagues of my Mom's old friends from far away. But even more of them were from my friends. Some of whom I have never met in person, cyber friends, or inmates as we sometimes jokingly call ourselves. It is astounding to me how people that I have never come face to face with could send such beautiful words, so many messages of comfort. And I hadn't remembered most of them. I don't remember much from those weeks anyway, but I had completely forgotten that so many people had sent words of support and encouragement. So many wise words. One friend wrote " It is a strange thing when both of your parents are gone, a readjustment of your own place in the world. It is not an easy feeling" From another wise soul, " I think that grief and birth bring us to a place that is much larger and dangerous than our usual world, it's a world where only the truly alive can be." and still one more, " grieving is along process and I think it is meant to be so, I will still be here when you are done." Well, I am not done yet, but I am working on it and finding and rereading those notes was a step forward. I am afraid I was not very gracious in thanking all of you who sent me words, or thought of us or sent food, or flowers, babysat, carted, sorted cleaned or listened. So here is my very late, but very heartfelt thank you! I hope you all know that your words both then and now mean a great deal to me.

I have a couple of words to give back. To quote a friend, "always go to the funeral." Seriously, you will never regret it. and also, send a note, write down those things that are hard to say, someday, someone will read that note and find the comfort you intended.