Not much of a joiner.

Last night I had my first foray into Doodle's new Co-op preschool. Wheeee. Now, I have never been what you would call a "joiner". You know, on the team, in the loop, head of the posse. I am more of a no thank you I can do it myself type person. Remember, in high school when you could either work with a partner, do a one page write up and presentation or work alone and write ten pages? I was a ten pager all the way. "Wanna carpool to the meeting? Save time and gas?" No, thanks, I'd rather drive alone. I've always been like this, for as long as I can remember. Nothing could strike fear into my heart quite like a teacher saying, "ok, small group time..find your group and work it out." eeekkkk. Even in yoga when it comes time for partner poses, sometimes I'd rather just shrivel up and roll away. Can I be invisible now? Please? Some of you fair readers might also recall my trouble with PEPS, the early parenting support group that is universally hailed as a miracle of support and lifelong friendship by everyone. Everyone except me. I have never felt so out of place in my life. Even in junior high.



When I told Patrick that I was thinking about a co-op for Doodle his expression read, "Really?, you aren't much of a joiner?" Crap. In all fairness it is largely a financial decision. Co-ops run between 50.00 and 70.00 a month around here. Private preschool is more like 375.00. Definitely not in the budget. But also, I am trying to model a more "joiner" friendly world for Doodle. And well, getting out of my comfort zone is a good thing. Right? I really do not want him to grow up with my crippling shyness, or my personal disdain for large groups of like minded people. Besides, it really is a community that I would like to be more in touch with. So, Co-op it is even for some who is not much of a joiner.



One of the reasons I like this program is that there are very few times during the school day that the children are required to participate in a specific activity. The first part of the day is free play at various centers, dramatic play, sensory table, snack, art etc....the last part of the day is outdoor play. It's the middle that troubles me. Those five to seven horrifying minutes known to all parents of preschoolers. Circle time. Doodle hates circle time. Hates the big group activity, hates doing what everyone else is doing. ( is this sounding at all familiar?) Hates the singing. In short. Are you ready? He's...not much of a joiner. I had not really noticed how much like me he is until it was pointed out by my closest friend. I was telling her how odd it was that my otherwise gregarious, friendly boy became this sullen whimpering monster whenever it came to circle time, or group time of whatever. In a voice dripping with sarcasm she said something to the effect of , Really? He doesn't like to do what the group is doing. Wherever would he get that from? Zing. Point taken. Not much of a joiner.



The meeting I went to last night was primarily to decide ( read sign up for) committee positions for next year. Every co-op parent has to serve on at least one committee. Curriculum, facilities, purchasing, board you know. The usual stuff. No worries! I can be flexible. The registrar sent me this nice list of what positions were available with short explanations of each. I looked it over and thought, no worries! I can do this. Then the bombshell. The registrar sent an email to all the "new " co-op parents warning us that even though the sign ups don't start until 6:30, the doors open at 6:00 AND some parents are in line at 5:00!!!!!!!! Committee sign ups are first come first served! Yikes! an hour and a half early? For preschool committee jobs? These people are fanatics! In truth it wasn't that bad. I got an assignment I can handle ( I think) I arrived shortly after 6:00. And there were cookies. So, I guess I'm in. Maybe, just maybe for the sake of my darling, too big for his britches, not much of a joiner son and his not much of a joiner brother, I can change. Maybe I can be a joiner. Maybe it isn't too late to save them from a painfully lonely adolescence. Maybe I can get it right this time.